The Day After

I'm so sad. I nearly broke into
tears with a customer in the cab
first thing this morning.

It's a little past 6am. I'm outside
the methadone clinic waiting and
watching for my 2nd customer of
the day to get done with his dosage.

What I need can't be quantified,
liquified, injected, purchased...

When things get rough, I
fall back on what I know...
Cab driving, customer service, my art,
music... But I don't understand
why asking for someone to love me
is asking too much.

Tears were literally streaming
down my face as I flew solo
down Belmont Street, heading for
Windsor & Catharine.

Keep it together.

Don't fall to pieces.

Play to your strengths.

Try to remember that I'm not a jerk.
That I really do have a heart
and common sense and a youthful
spirit tempered by some sort of
wisdom...

I hope she changes her mind.